I've been reading a book. This is not an uncommon occurrence, of course. I like books. Whole bunches. Books are like water to me; they quench a thirst and fill me up. Books have been a mainstay in my life for as long as I can remember and it is through reading that I feel most connected to my mom. So, no, reading a book isn't uncommon at all. What is uncommon, though, is for a book to move me to make changes in my life. And yet this book has done just that.
Most Good, Least Harm, by Zoe Weil, is about living a "good" life, one in which we step up as individuals and start to make choices that allow us to fight back against materialism, environmental destruction, and injustice. The book had been on my 'to read' book list for a long time, but I kept putting it off, probably because I knew that I wouldn't really want to read what was inside. It turns out I was right. Upon starting to read the book, my first reaction was an intense desire to chuck the book out the window. It's really hard to read about the various harms in which we participate just by going about our daily lives. It was almost impossible not to be overwhelmed with it all, overwhelmed enough to want to plug my ears, shut my eyes, and sing at the top of my lungs, "LA LA LA LA, I can't heaaaaar you, Zoe."
It's so much easier not to know than it is to know. But the problem for me is this: Now that I know what I know, I can't go back to not knowing. Oh, I can pretend, for sure. I can go about living as if I don't understand that the choices I make have impacts far beyond those I can see. I can focus on my family, my work, my home. I can delve into the busy of daily life and stay there for a really long time without even looking up. But amidst all the busy, whenever I pause enough to breathe, there is always a nagging voice whispering to me softly: there is so much more. There is so much more.
So. I didn't chuck the book out the window. I read and read and thought and thought. As I did, my thoughts kept circling back to Helen Keller's famous quotation, "I am just one, but I am still one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do." I can't do it all, but I want to do the something that I can do.
But where to start? There is so much to be done and it's so easy to feel helpless in the face of it all. Yet there is always a place to begin, a way into a better life for all. In her book, Zoe helps readers begin to make choices as she talks about 'living your epitaph." She challenges her readers to envision the world of their dreams and then to decide how they, in their ripe old age, would answer the question: "What role did you play in the development of the world we have today?"As I pondered her question, I realized what I want my epitaph to be. When I die, I want it to be said that I fought for people. That I believed in people. I want to live in a way that shows that I believe all people have value. And I want to make choices that support and lift up people, every day.
Some of this, I already do. I always knew that I had to have a job where I worked to improve the lives of others. Not because I want to be looked upon as saintly (because I am *so* not a saint; just ask my husband if you have any lingering doubts about that), but because I truly believe in my heart of hearts that we are all better off when we build each other up rather than tear each other down. My job allows me to help children and families find their highest potential and I am so grateful to get the opportunity to do this each workday.
But I want to go deeper. I want to begin to reconcile how I live my life with what I know about the struggles faced by people all across the planet. I want to teach my children to feel gratitude for what they have, rather than discontent for what they don't. I want to push back against entitlement and materialism and the pervasive and poisonous belief that what you have defines who you are. I want my actions to create ripple effects of good that reach all the way across the world and back again. I want to choose kindness, over and over and over again.
As a result of all this thinking, I've decided I'm going to make some changes this year in how I live (hence the New Year's Day post; rather appropriate, no?). Before I describe the changes I've decided to make, let me be very clear that I really won't be doing very much at all. Many people, so many people, live their lives in much more peaceful ways than I am willing to do right now. Here's just a small sample of the things I'm not prepared to do: I'm not prepared to become a vegan, despite the harm that my everyday diet probably causes to animals. I'm not prepared to heat only one part of my house despite the fact that it's incredibly inefficient to heat the whole thing. I'm not ready to move to a smaller house even though I know we have way more than we need. I'm not going to give up on disposable diapers despite the toll I know they take on the environment (no. more. laundry.). Clearly, there's a lot I'm not willing to do. At least not yet. But that doesn't mean I shut my eyes and turn away from the things I can do. Instead, I sifted through all the possibilities in front of me and decided upon the three things I will do. They are big enough to stretch me, but small enough to keep me from being overwhelmed. They are challenging, but sustainable. They are as follows.
1. I will volunteer. Yes, volunteering has every potential to take away from the little personal time I have left; in signing up to volunteer, I run the risk of ending up cranky and tired. Yet, volunteering also has every potential to help me find gratitude for the things I take for granted each day, to fill me up more than an inspiring read or a good blog, to teach my children the value of serving those who need our help. And this year, I want to fill up my life more with, well, life.
A quick Google search for volunteer opportunities in my area turned up Literacy Volunteers. This was all the inspiration I needed to commit. I'm passionate about helping others gain access to the skills that they need to thrive in our society. Literacy has the power to lift people out of poverty, to turn entire lives around. And the time commitment? 1-2 hours a week. Really, who can't spare that? I know I can. Even if it means one less episode of Real Housewives of Orange County.
(As you read this, I can see you shaking your head in agreement. Volunteering is good, you think. That's not crazy. The girl is making sense. Yeah, that's because you haven't gotten to point number 3 yet. Keep reading.)
2. I will learn more about the impact of my food choices, my cleaning supplies, and my choices of disposable paper products. As I learn, I will find ways to reduce the harm I cause in the products I choose. In the meantime, I will buy coffee and chocolate only if it is marked Fair Trade.
(I'm guessing that you're still reading along in relative agreement. You can kind of see the value of my thinking, especially once you click on the links. The slope is getting slippery, perhaps, but no real loss of sanity yet, right? Keep reading).
3. I will challenge myself to buy no new durable material goods (clothes, toys, books, CDs, magazines, furniture, decorations, etc.) for the next 11 months, unless I can feel reasonably certain it was produced in a way that did not harm others.
(See, this is where I envision people saying, "Oh. Yep. She's lost her mind.")
Allow me explain.
I'm learning that many of the goods and products we purchase every day are produced in ways that are extremely harmful to people. As just one example, Target (oh, my beloved Target, please say it ain't so...) has been known to purchase clothing made in a factory in American Samoa, a US territory in the South Pacific Ocean. The owner of this particular factory was convicted for illegally confining workers in involuntary servitude, holding their passports, and threatening deportation in retaliation for any acts of non-compliance. Workers at the factory were beaten, deprived of food, and forced to work without pay. In buying products--especially clothes--from Target, I'm allowing such practices to continue; in fact, I'm indirectly funding those practices. Ugh. And it's certainly not just Target buying from sweatshops like this. Walmart, Kohls, JcPenny, The Gap, the list goes on and on. So many companies find ways to drive down costs by exploiting the work of people who can not stand up for themselves. And so very many of those being exploited are children.
This is the hidden side of consumerism, the one that is not talked about, the one I turned a blind eye to for a long time, because it was inconvenient for me to look it fully in the face. Quite simply, I loved the convenience of ignorance. I liked walking into Target, finding almost anything I needed (er, wanted), paying a relatively inexpensive price, and walking back out, all in a matter of ten minutes. I crave efficiency, and Target played right into the efficient working mom thing I've got going. To be fully honest, even as I type this, I wonder at my sanity as I make the proclamation to do more good by avoiding such products. But the more I read, the more I am convinced this is the right thing to do. And the right time to do it.
How will I go about all this? Well, it's important to note that we already have so much stuff that we could easily get through the year without buying any new stuff at all (we did just finish Christmas after all). However, in all reality, I am sure that there will be times when I want to buy something new (to us). In that case, I'll have two options. The first is to buy certified Fair Trade or Organic or local products, or find another way to reasonably assure myself that the product was probably produced in a humane way. I'll do some of this, but Fair Trade and Organic products can be justifiably more expensive. Our budget doesn't have much room to give right now, so I'll probably spend more time with what's behind door number 2: Buying second-hand. (Actually, to be fair, Green America tells me that I have third option as well: Make my own products. But that won't be happening; this I know for sure. Handy I am not).
I'm a little bit nervous, a little bit excited, and a little bit curious about my new adventure all at the same time. I'm sure I'll be a lot bit annoyed at times as well, especially when my do-good attitude is trumped by the inconvenience of not having the things I want as quickly as I want them. I'm guessing I'll bump up against feelings of discomfort as I walk through thrift stores. And I know there will be times when I regret leaving my babies to go work with strangers. But through it all, I'll know deep down that the choices I am making are in harmony with the person I truly want to be. And in this, I'll hope to find peace.
"And the world is full of
stories, but all the stories are one."
-Mitch Albom
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